Who Am I What Do I Allow The World to See about Me

[Daton O Fullard]

Chapter Eight
SELF DISCOVERY

Self Discovery begins rather innocently with a question asked
by Wisdom of each of us “who am I”..From where whom and
what place do I come..From where do my questions begin there
original flow..Do they rise up or descend from what distant room
Within my heart my spirit and my mind I must know..

What part of my body or my soul is the source of this origination..
What point from without or within..Do my questions begin inside
of myself..Or emanate from a detached isolated source..That is either
or neither foe nor friend..?

Who or what being approaches my mind and heart..Then quietly
calmly enters without knocking..To put the daily load of my
Questions there..Is its real essence derived from..Or driven by
my insatiable curiosity..Incessantly relentless in its probative
nature..To find out the who the what when why and the where..

Is it good to have a deep and abiding passion for Questions and
Answers.. Launched from so deep within the Spirit of our Heart
our Mind and Soul.. By whom and for what reason does each
found answer reward us.. By drawing us into and somehow
propelling us ever closer to each of our individual life’s defined
or undefined goals..

Is it Wisdom’s job to challenge every Human life 24 hours a day..
To find out and measure our inner Potential..To answer our life’s
many Questions..Then grades and determines our effectiveness..
In solving Our daily Life's Problems..Rewarding us with a deeper
level of understanding..Gleaned from or not gained as each of us
moves..The accumulated thought luggage of our lives along our own
individually chosen way..?

Why do Humans with there great diversity from other Life forms
and Eco-Systems..Exist and co-exist interconnected as we are..All
sharing in the same place and space..Who are the real members of
My true Family..What precise unseen circumstances or forces were
the primary factors..In determining my own ethnicity date of birth
cultural heritage and race..?

Before one can descend climb traverse or conquer..Any particular
obstacle..No matter how deep wide high or low..Before one can
understand the outer or inner boundaries of infinity..Ones curiosity
thirst and desire for knowledge..Must forever burn with a flaming
white hot intensity..Consuming all life’s varied Questions..Amid it’s
energetic dissipation..Using each consumed spent answer as a
provided fuel source..Helping to maintain its persistent radiance
and intense glow..

In order to meet Freedom face to face..One must travel beyond the
outer edges..Of its confining floors ceilings and walls..Before one
can even begin to approach..The truest realm and home of Wisdom...
One must learn to hear it’s haunting voice’s faint whispering echo...
In every questions irrepressibly persistent call…Who am I really ?

In my early days as a child..Many difficult questions dominated my
mind as a youth..In the realm of human understanding true answers
were sometimes very slow in coming..So began My journey to find
the home of Wisdom..Where I knew I would also find Joy Pain..Under
standing Frustration Knowledge Grace Mercy and the Living Truth…

I knew that I would have a very difficult journey..But I had to continue
no matter the Price..Nor the intense heat of the mighty flame...For it is
better I suppose to chase after Wisdom and pursue Truth incessantly..
Than to be captured from behind or within..by ones own inner Evil
Ignorance and Shame...

This work consists of many very different Chapters..I hope each helps
you to think of more questions..For I am convinced life answers and
solutions..Are truly the ultimate valuable prize..For if we are to over
come the many barriers..and many obstacles we face as a Divine People...
If we remain bound and trapped..By Our own stubborn undefeated
ingrained Ignorance..Our failure and Our children's frustration..Will only
continue to increase in substance complexity scale scope and size..

For a man cannot truly begin the journey to know Himself..Until he
recognizes the unseen image and true essence..Of Our Living Creator..
Hidden away in the darkness or light...Of the life of himself first.. Then
recognize His greater Spirit..With its true inner Promise and Power..
Hidden within each and everyone else..

For in every Life bearing human vessel..Whose Heart pumps the sacred
blood of life within..Each and everyone of us has the chance..To impact
the lives of others negatively or positively..Of those we consider either
Family Foe or Friend..

Yet what is the very essence of true Power..Was its first byproduct once
manifested in Humanity..In the individual’s enabling of this Power of Choice..
To decide to do or not to do..Why do these many silent questions..Dress
conceal and disguise themselves..In such sheer seductive thought garments..
That appear to have no shape form or voice..?

We listen at their relentless whispered suggestions daily..But not to hear...
We think about them..react..but do not speak..Yet they are so resolutely
determined..To influence modify or shape our behavior..The strong among
us become thought selective..While others poor unthinking decisions make
their lives fundamentally unsound..Allowing some to become vice or crime
receptive..Yet in others some become mentally unstable..Later their Family
tree becomes somewhat infected by this evil..Making each affected member
sickened..Morally ethically and spiritually very weak..

Some of these now weakened leaves..Fall away and begin to dwell among..The
inner demons hidden within themselves unseen..Silent among the Shadows..
As the Human host now begins to sink and further retreat..Deeper into the web
like poisonous grip of their many vices..Becoming bound to move around
always seeking the concealing dark cover of the night..Some choose to embrace
or reject their suggestions of evil..Only to recoil or rejoice when approached by
the rays of Truth’s..Intense glare it’s all penetrating and all illuminating Light..

Daily these mighty Spiritual titans constantly clash..They jockey for true
mental dominance..In each moment of our lives every day..Yet to the wise they
have no true power in our minds..Until we act on their thought implants..Or
behavioral suggestions made to us..Each and every moment of each tested day
In our own separate ways..

Daily they hurl at each of us..The temptation of their relentless often unsolicited
suggestions.. Should I do this or that..For every negative or positive decision we
engage..Does the overall effect of each of our cumulative decisions and reactions..
Ultimately determine where ones eternal..Will find its true place to reside at…

Yet even from the very beginning of all human time..True spiritual enlightenment
has its originating point of genesis from deep within..For without the infinite
Love of Our Living Creator..Love of Oneself Ones Family Ones Community and Ones
Humanity..Ones journey to find Oneself..Can never ever truly begin..So where does
One begin such a truly daunting journey..? Is there a nice spiritual road map
available to guide one safely along the way..Is the first place one has to gain
control in the province of the mind and the heart..Then conquer the thoughts
Which eventually control and reflects the words that ones mind and voice..Will
later have a need to say...

I began by offering simple thanks to My Living Creator..Known to mankind’s
many cultures and various ethnicity's..By many names..Known to me as the
One Living Creator the Most High..The most Perfect of all Beings..Whose wise
words rekindles daily the spiritual fire..Which hourly sustains My Life’s eternal
flame..

I thank him for truly being My Mentor and Number One Role Model...For The
Opening of My Inner Spiritual Eyes..For soon allowing me to be able to see the
Beauty of the Distant Horizons..To be able to just give thanks for each and
every day I am allowed..To just have the privilege to see the coming evening
and the dawning of the new morning sky..

What a blessing it is to see the colossal clashing of these Spiritual Titans..
As their ethereal forces..Conflict daily as they prepare to do battle..In the war
for the ultimate prize of a Human Soul..Who inadvertently shape daily by their
constant pitched battle..do influence and mold..Our day to day decisions...As
we struggle to define and achieve our daily life Goals...

This Work is dedicated With Great Love...To all my Marvelous African Descended
Ancestors...Whose Beautiful Lives each..became the Leaves..that once Graced the
Branches of My Elegant Tree..Whose tortured long suffering inspired Lives..
Once served as a Perfect Role Model for Me...

daton o. fullard © 1997 Copyrighted

And then there was the beginning